thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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