so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize