Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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