I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
