you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think my moral compass just broke
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
