just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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