drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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