hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
