did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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