Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize