Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
