I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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