Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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