id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
