Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My dick has a subreddit
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
