Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
