Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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