On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
