Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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