I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
