I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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