Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize