I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
