I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
