And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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