i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
