Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
