it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
