i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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