I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
