I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
