We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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