Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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