I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize