Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
