My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
