I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
