He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
