I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
