did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
