She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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