I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
