Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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