I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
