U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
