I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
