i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
