Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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