I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize