I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I need help removing her.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
