carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
