we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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