when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
