Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
