Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
