yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
