found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
