at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Farmville is her only friend.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
