physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
