That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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