fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
